To me, it’s a good idea to always carry two sacks of something when you walk...– Jack Handey, Deep Thoughts (via deforest)
Watching 'The Walking Dead' with my 67 year-old...
Grandma: Now why is she hugging a dead body again?
Me: It was her sister. She's emotional.
Grandma: She's kind of useless. They should just let the angry red-neck boy kill her.
Me: Well, she's already dead. They're just waiting for her to turn...
Grandma: I meant the other one. So you can catch fish. Whoop-Dee-Do.
Me: It's food...
Grandma: They're going to be food.
Grandma: Mr. Police Officer has pretty eyes.
Me: Yeah, he does.
Grandma: I really wish he wouldn't talk, though.